Which one to useB2

Who vs whom vs whose

The short answer

Answer the question with he or him. If he fits, use who; if him fits, use whom. Whose marks possession, whose coat is this? In modern English whom survives mainly after a preposition; elsewhere who is normal and whom can sound stiff.

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At a glance

Who or Whom?

CompareWhoThe subject. Substitute he.WhomThe object. Substitute him.
Grammatical roleSubject of the verbObject of a verb or preposition
Substitution testhe / she / they fitshim / her / them fits
After a prepositionOnly informally, who did you give it to?Standard: to whom did you give it?
Register todayNeutral, works everywhereFormal; often avoided
Possessionwhose: for bothwhose: for both
Confusable withNot usedwho’s = who is, never possessive

How to choose

Ask these, in order

  1. 1

    Can you answer with he?

    Who.

    Who called? He did.

    He fits, so who.

  2. 2

    Can you answer with him?

    Whom, in formal writing. Who is acceptable in speech.

    Whom did you invite? I invited him.

    Him fits, so whom.

    NBWho did you invite? is completely normal in conversation.

  3. 3

    Is there a preposition immediately in front?

    Whom. This is where it genuinely survives.

    the colleague with whom I share an office

    After with, whom is standard.

  4. 4

    Does it show possession?

    Whose, and it works for people and things alike.

    the author whose books we read

    Not who’s, which means who is.

Side by side

Each one, in full

Who

Who and whom

The subject. Substitute he.

Who is the subject, who wrote this? who is coming? Whom is the object of a verb or preposition, whom did you see? to whom it may concern. The he-or-him substitution settles it in every case, including in relative clauses.

In a relative clause the test still works, but you have to look inside the clause: the man who called, he called, so who. The man whom I called: I called him, so whom.

Who is responsible for this?

He is, so who.

The candidate whom we interviewed withdrew.

We interviewed him, so whom.

The candidate who applied first got the job.

He applied, so who, despite the similar shape.

Whom

Whose, and where whom has gone

The object. Substitute him.

Whose marks possession and does not vary, whose turn is it? the company whose shares fell. It works for things as well as people, which surprises learners: the book whose cover is torn is perfectly correct, if slightly formal.

As for whom, modern English has largely retired it except after a preposition. Who did you speak to? is standard everywhere; to whom did you speak? is formal. What has not changed is that with whom, for whom and of whom keep whom, because who directly after a preposition is genuinely wrong.

Whose idea was this?

Possession.

a decision for whom nobody wanted to take responsibility

After a preposition.

Who are you going with?

Everyday English, preposition stranded at the end.

Mistakes to avoid

What learners actually get wrong

  • Who’s book is this?

    Whose book is this?

    Who’s is the contraction of who is or who has, never a possessive. The apostrophe means a missing letter, not ownership, the same confusion as its and it’s.

  • Whom is calling?

    Who is calling?

    He is calling, so it is who. Using whom to sound careful is the commonest way to get it wrong, and it is more noticeable than simply using who everywhere.

  • with who I work

    with whom I work

    Who cannot follow a preposition directly. Either use whom, or move the preposition to the end, who I work with, which is what most speakers say.

  • To who should I address it?

    To whom should I address it?

    Who cannot follow a preposition directly. Either use whom, or move the preposition to the end, who should I address it to? That version is standard in speech and in most writing, and only the stiffest registers object to it.

Now use it

Relative clauses

who, which, that, whose, and when you can drop the pronoun. Reading a rule and being able to apply it are different skills, and only one of them shows up when you speak.

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Questions

Asked and answered

Is whom dying out?
In most positions, yes. It survives robustly after a preposition and in fixed phrases like to whom it may concern, and elsewhere it is a register choice rather than a correctness one. Using who where whom is strictly required will pass unremarked almost everywhere; using whom wrongly will not.
Does whose really work for things?
Yes, a house whose windows were broken is correct. Some writers avoid it because whose feels human, and reach for of which instead, which is usually clumsier. Whose is the better choice unless the sentence is unusually formal.
How does this relate to which and that?
Same family of relative pronouns, split by what they refer to, who and whom for people, which and that for things, whose for possession by either. The defining and non-defining comma rule applies to all of them identically.